Possum & Taters.

A couple of weekends ago, I was at home visiting my parents, and I was charged with the task of going through our two giant plastic buckets full of old sheet music that we keep hidden expertly behind one of our pianos. Lots of them were from the 1930's, and some were even older; there were a few ragged, dusty scores from over a century ago that had faded until you could barely see the text. Pretty neat shit, right?

Well, as it turns out, old sheet music covers are a hoot. Witty, racist, and delightfully bawdy. Not unlike your grandmother.

Anyway. Here is a collection of some of my favorite findings. Also captions, because I love captions.

She keeps needing to be reminded, I guess.

 

...Bastard.

Yeah you do, slut.

The lady's ankles have been censored. This is a family blog.

 Cute dog.

 This one's title made me chuckle, because it's a little strange. But a few seconds later, I noticed the baby doll's face:

And then this Carl Orff clip played in my head and my own face melted off.

Yeah right.

Get jiggy wit' it?

Sorry, bro.

 

What delighted me about this one was actually the titillating nature of that bell-boy:

"Mmmmmmmadame."

I couldn't decide between two captions: "The murder weapon?" or "Cash only."

 

T-t-t-TODAY, JUNIOR.

I had no idea black people had such ruby red lips in the 30's.

 "Help me itch my butt."

Just... just take him.

Well, they're very different from the gay 2000's.

Yes. It's a real dish. I googled it. It's also what musicians think black people eat.
Behold, the close-up:

You're darn tootin'.

The birth of peer pressure.

Imagine breaking the news to your boyfriend that you're pregnant in this decade.

Real women get post-depression kinky.

And finally, this last one made me chuckle; not because of its off-color nature, just because I like to make fun of inanimate objects.

So like... South Carolina?